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Saturday, July 16, 2016

Cheers to you, Mum.


Today is your first day of retirement. Wow. First of all, congratulations. If anyone deserves this time in life, it's you. You have given and sacrificed for so long, it's time for you to put yourself first. When was the last time you did that? I'll be 29 this year, so I'm guessing sometime around 30 years ago...

I want you to know how much I love you. How proud I am of you. And how grateful I am for you, all of you, and everything you have done for me and our family. 

I don't think I can put into words all that I feel, but I'm going to try.

Like many mothers before me, I know that I gained a new appreciation for you when I became a Mom. And even now, walking in your shoes, I know I can never say thank you enough, I love you enough. For so many reasons, you are amazing. Beyond amazing.

I know when I say these things you will remind me of how wonderful your mother was. And I have always believed you, even though I never knew her. I have felt her my whole life because of you. Look at the daughter she raised. A strong, loving, selfless woman, despite all of the challenges you have faced. Mum, she would be so proud and happy at this moment too. Somewhere I know she is smiling down, celebrating with you.

Mum, I want you to know that you are priceless. You are treasured, not just by me, but by so many. I hope someday my own daughter will look back on her childhood and time with me the way I do with you. There are so many fond memories and cherished moments. But so much more than that too.

There were the tough times too, the days that aren't remembered for their warmth, but for the struggles, for being defining moments in ways that are not warm and fuzzy. The moments where you chose to be the best parent you could be, no matter how tough, and regardless of the pain you suffered; to be the best Mum you could be. I know I have hurt you in ways no other can. I have said words and done things as children tend to do, regardless of the hurt it may have caused and the consequences to you. 

I have seen the pain in your eyes as you have raised me and I have learned my lessons the hard way. You have stood by me no matter what, have listened no matter how hard, and have guided me through whatever journey I am on. You have been my compass thus far, and you have helped mould me into the woman I am today. All while working full time, working on your own marriage, and helping me with my own kids. We've always joked that Superwoman doesn't exist, but you deserve the title.

I know I haven't made things easy along the way and that I'm guilty of taking you for granted over the years. Not on purpose, but in the way that children expect their parents to be there for them; as though they feel no pain at the hands of their children. Everything you have done, everything you have sacrificed, I recognize and appreciate. So much more than I can express, I am grateful. I am blessed. Having you as my Mum is a gift. 

Mum, you and I know there is no such thing as perfect. What appears effortless on the outside is the result of hard work. Hard f***ing work. In regards to our relationship and so much more, I know you've worked damned hard and this isn't lost on me. I know your journey hasn't been easy and yet you have always done everything for your family that you can. Despite whatever hardships you were facing, you were always there for me, for us. Looking back, I know you pushed though a lot to get where you are today.

Before I go, there is one last thing I don't want to forget to say: thank you for always being there for me. Above all else, thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. Getting here took a lot of work and sacrifice. There were tough days, days where it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But here you are.

You chose a career where you could be home to raise your family and I know this didn't come without challenges and sacrifice. You gave up other things to do the best you could and I love you for doing all that you have. I hope you are finally able to make time for yourself, put yourself first, and enjoy some much deserved time to relax.

Cheers to you Mum, may this next chapter be everything you deserve it to be.

xx KP